Monday, July 23, 2012

To Start Again, That takes Courage

I read this, and I was recalled to life:

And we discovered that it is only by releasing ourselves from our self-imposed limits that we can finally see the power and beauty of the runner inside each of us. 
And most importantly:
"The miracle isn't that I finished . . . The miracle is that I had the courage to start." 

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Running and Writing

I write and I run.  And I do it again, and again, and again...until I hope there's nothing left to write, nothing left to keep running to...or from.

I write exactly the same as I did four years ago, and I haven't changed.  I write how I feel, and I feel exactly how I did before:  as a Romantic stuck. 

I run to ruminate and mull over my thoughts, to get everything I can't stop thinking about out of my head, to force it out through my skin as tears swell up as lumps of sweat running down, stinging my eyes with their bitter salt rubbing against a regretably festering sore.

They say it's crazy to do the same thing and expect a different outcome.

I think it's crazy to do entirely different things and expect the same outcome.

The Friction

The friction intensifies,
the heat builds and kills,
as the skin heaves n' cries.
As it blisters in its shrill;

until it vomits its globs,
sick to its stomache,
cleaving at its core,
begging for a cleric.

The globs form and storm
down the walls of fatigue:
the muscles broken weak,
the friction left forlorn.

'til the drop, with their salt,
embittering the vision
with the sting of old fault,
dissolving into the depths
of pereption:

infecting every lens--
the quick, torrid taint of a lost history.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Progress: Slow and at times, Regressive

I will get into contact with Cristhiano Espinoza-Pino, founder of PALMA.

I will do it, damn it.  I'm going to do it.

Work at the office has been great: slow at times, because it's difficult to find state revenue data broken down by particular taxes.  But I'm going to get it.  Period.

Lastly, I think I may have--just maybe--found what I'd been not looking for.

But I still haven't completely moved past...well, the past.